The Batman

So, lately I've been watching the Batman animated series, and I have come to the conclusion that Batman is even more awesome than I thought. The writing on that series was top notch, and it had just as much if not even more to do with the rebirth of Batman from the silly Adam West era to the dark, powerful era as the Tim Burton film. As such, I've decided to write a top ten list of my favorite Batman Animated series episodes.

10. Almost Got 'Im

This one is a classic. A bunch of villains, hanging out playing poker. The Joker, Two-face, Penguin, Croc, and Ivy all swapping stories about the time that infernal Batman got away. It's FULL of jokes I have never forgotten to this day ("It was a big rock..."), as well as some genuinely interesting villain plans. Add to that the origin of the giant penny in the Batcave, and you have one hell of an episode.

9. Feat of Clay

The first major villain reworking of the series is also one of the darkest and most disturbing. An actor, tragically disfigured, gets addicted to a non-surgical cosmetic, the side effects of an overdose of which turns him into the icky, twisted Clay-Face. I think this is when I first realized as a kid that if my parents ever really payed attention to the shows I was watching, they might not let me watch it at all. The visuals on Clay-Face are always stunning, as well.

8. Mad as a Hatter

Oh frabjous day! Caloo, calay! This is the first time as a kid I remember wanting the villain to find a way to win. The poor, lonely Jervis Tetch only wanted a way to his beloved Alice's heart. As a kid who got pushed around and had considerable lady troubles, I couldn't help but identify with the man. After all, what would you do if you had the power to control those who hurt you? Plus, top hats and Alice in Wonderland are the shit.

7. If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?

A video game designer is fired after being cheated out of his profits by his shiftless boss. In revenge, he builds an intricate full size maze in the form of the game and traps the boss inside. Once again, I identify with the villain. In this first appearance of the Riddler, I wanted to root for Batman, but the scummy boss was so nasty that it was difficult to do. This marks the only version of the Riddler I've ever seen that doesn't come across like some half-baked rip-off of either the Joker or Jigsaw ala the Saw films. Truly a milestone episode.

6. The Man Who Killed Batman

In this GLORIOUS episode, a barely dangerous racketeer apparently offs the Batman, only to discover that doing so was not in his best interests. Everyone in Gotham wants a piece of him, if not to prove they're tougher, then because they're afraid of him. Or in one memorable case, because Batman is the Yin to their Yang. That's right folk, the Joker himself goes after this poor wimp of a man, very upset that he's deprived him of his lifelong game of cat and mouse with the Batman. Hysterically funny throughout, this is truly one of the best episodes I've ever seen.

5. The Laughing Fish

The Joker invents a twisted fish with the same horrible smile on its face that he has. Eager for profits, the Joker holds Gotham City in a reign of terror, demanding a copyright and his legal share of the profits from every Jokerfish sold. This episode really showcased the twisted attitude the Joker could display, as well as just how creative his strange plans can be. It also echoed an amusing story from the comics.

4. Perchance to Dream

Batman wakes up in a reality where he is just Bruce Wayne. His parents are alive, he is engaged to Selina Kyle, and all is right in the world. So why is he so sure its wrong? A twisted and pulse pounding episode, I didn't actually see this one as a child, and it's a damned good thing. God knows how much more twisted I'd be if I had see this reality questioning piece of excellence.

3. Two-Face

Harvey Dent appeared in several episodes long before this one, and was an established character. That made his horrible transformation into Two-Face a real spectacle to see. Amazingly acted by all involved, this Two-Face story is rivaled only by The Dark Knight itself, and established a lot I have grown to love about the character. It also showed that characters in this series were not untouchable. People could get hurt, and could stay that way.

2. Harley and Ivy

The Joker and Harley Quinn have a falling out, and she ends up staying with Poison Ivy. Implied lesbianism much? Aside from the fact that two of the sexiest characters ever written spend half the episode walking around in men's shirts (That's what women do when they're alone, right?), this episode was INCREDIBLY funny, with gags including the Joker being unable to find his pants without Harley's help. Equally hilarious is Batman's completely offscreen unexplained escape act in Act 3. This episode is truly one of the best the series ever had to offer.

1. Heart of Ice

The recreation of Mr. Freeze in this animated series is by far one of the most well known. He went from a gimmicky, barely one-dimensional character to the single most emotionally gripping member of the rogues gallery. Here we see a man, not evil, but truly broken. After losing everything he loves, he puts himself through a frozen hell for vengeance, yes, but also in an attempt to restore himself and his wife. A truly deep and depressing character, we saw Mr. Freeze come back time and time again, given not only his own movie, but resurrected in the excellent series Batman Beyond. This dark, icy mirror of Batman himself was truly chilling, if you'll forgive the pun.

There you have it! My top ten Batman episodes are a real tribute to those who worked on them, most notably Paul Dini and Bruce Timm. Those men, more than perhaps any other, shaped my sense of right and wrong, and what the word superhero truly means. I can honestly say that without this series, I wouldn't be nearly the same man today. They continue to this day with their excellent DC animated films and the truly exceptional Batman video game series. If you ever have opportunity, check this series out, no matter how old you are. You won't regret it.

WHYYYYYY!?

WHY CAN'T I STOP WATCHING INUYASHA!? I have forgone all other activities today, and I DON'T KNOW WHY! It's not an awful show and it has a great sentimentality for me, but holy crap, I just can't seem to stop watching it. I've seen several of these weird, long winded fighting anime, and this follows the pattern quite well, but something about it has just kept me watching LONG after I would have stopped watching any other show.

I've been totally neglecting my blog this week. Sorry about that! I'll pop back with a decent real post later on.

I'm a dancin' foo'.

So, evidently, I dance. I went to a wedding lat night, and was continually against dancing. It wasn't my style, my feet hurt, blah blah blah. I had a thousand reasons to say no, and only one reason to say yes. The problem was, I didn't count on just how compelling that one reason would be: alcohol.

There was an open bar, as is traditional, or so I've been told. So, as the evening wore on, I went through three whiskey sours. That's not actually that much, especially spread out over an entire quite long evening, however, I wasn't eating, and I could swear in court that the last two weren't so much "whiskey sours" as they were "whiskey whiskeys."

On the up side, I loosened up considerably. This led to me being downright unable to tear myself away from the dance floor. I discovered a heretofore unknown talent for slow dancing. I discoed, rather successfully in my opinion, and to top it all off, I did the twist and the Carlton to almost every song with the appropriate beat.

The downside is that while under the influence of alcohol, I forgot that I was wearing size 11 shoes, and I am a 13 1/2 wide. As a result, I am now hobbled. My feet are barely usable. Still, it was worth it. I look snazzy in a suit.

What Happened Next

Well, the next part of the tale of my move home is a petty gross one. A few weeks after moving home, also known as yesterday, I decided to stop by the apartment on a whim to pick up a few things from my roommate. As we went through the things in my room, it became clear that something awful had happened. Essentially everything I owned that had been left behind had a thick, disgusting carpet of mold growing on it.

How my roommate didn't notice any sort of smell or anything, I'll never understand, but almost everything was beyond salvage. Nearly every paperback book I own was destroyed, as well as a dozen or so important childhood keepsakes. A stuffed dog I've had since I was born looked like a rotting piece of meat.

What happened, as far as we can tell, is that the constant storms of the past few months cause water to seep in a constant stream into the corner of the room. Since I wasn't around for most of that time, simply, no one noticed. We're trying to save what we can, but most appears beyond saving. This kinda stinks. I'll try and post something funny or interesting later on, but for now... meh.

Blah blah blah.

I don't know what I'm blogging about, right now. I just know that I'm blogging! Steadfastly and doggedly moving forward in the face of utter confusion. The last couple of days are a weird haze of dizziness and hyperactivity brought on by new medication. My memory is so shot that it's become a source of amusement. I just had to retype the word source seven times because I couldn't get my brain to spell it. One of these days, I'll publish a blog without any corrections or editing, so that you can see how jacked up my stream of consciousness can be.

Anyways, what I was saying originally was that yesterday, I was so loopy that I forgot whether or not I had eaten several tacos. I dread tomorrow, as I'm simply not sure I'll be able to hold my brain together. If I can't, I'll be sure to update you guys on all the crazy land brain farts that pop through my wonky brain.